Poem: Motherhood, This Is It!

I don't really write in this blog much which is obvious. I have others I write in more frequently but it's always in phases! I'm so busy keeping my journal on an app now that my blogging has suffered but at least I am actually doing what I love, properly and orderly for the first time in my life (writing)! All because I've had a big clear out of all the hoarding in the house and my head - just write it and let it go!

Some of the poems I've written in this blog are total and utter crap - but at the time, to me, they were not. They were written quite some time ago and some when I was even loopy. I only just realised that I haven't put any new poetry on here for ages and ages and ages but I have been writing it!

I'm a sentimental old fool. I've spend the last year clearing my house of lots of things I had just held on to. Vinyl and books excluded of course! Oh, and my journals... keeping a journal is actually more rewarding than anyone that doesn't keep one could ever know. I have records of how I actually felt when I fell pregnant with both of my daughters and letting them scribble in my note pads as they grew makes going over my old stuff so heart warming! If you want to impress me, show love me soppy stuff!!

Anyway, my big daughter came to me and got a little big for her boots. It inspired this poem. As with most things I write they turn into something else so I also wrote a song called 'She Thinks She's a Know It All' which is actually how this poem started.

I don't row with my girls, I reason and explain. I don't lose it, I walk away. I've been criticised for it but when you're raised by a dictator you either become one or something very different! It doesn't have a name yet I haven't got that far! I haven't even edited it. This is actually a personal test for me!! Like buying a bright outfit 😂😂

p.s. I don't have a son!

18 August 2017

03:41

I taught my girl good, I was firm, I was fair

But I ain't taking no shit when she comes with them airs

Yes she studied real hard didn't get pregnant like me

But she's is the reason

I don't have two degrees

I'm not bitter

I made her, it was no longer time for me

I would raise her with feeling

With integrity

So when she starts to get ahead of herself

I will not hesitate

To remind her of where she came from

And why she is so great

I gave all of myself, I took nothing for me

Put into my children what I always wanted for me

So when she starts on trying to psychoanalyse me

I remind I'm her mother

And that I still know she's silly

How can she not be

And not know it really

When I am so silly too (it's true)

And I look at my mother

And finally realise

I can see where it all came through

And then I remember my

Dear, dear, sweet grandma

Oh,

She was silly

Just like us too!

Our children are supposed to be better

Than we ever thought that we could be

But if you want to help them be better

You must show them all there is to see

I can't teach her to have all she wants

But give her no means to get it

Forget the brand names she needs books

Or she'll go broke trying to get it!

I can't teach my son to be a man

If I give him a dad that's a prick

Forget the blind passion, he needs a good chance

To make sure he doesn't end up a dick

We're only as limited as what we want to know

How hard we will work, oh and what we will show

To the world when we're beat

When there's nowhere to go

What they do then is what they need to know

You can judge me for being so straight with my kids

But this life ain't no happy fairy tale

How will they learn to get back up

If you never teach them to fail?

I'm real there ain't realer

I won't hide things from you

Unless of course you're judging me

And I'll leave you to think what you do

I ain't interested in your opinions

I know what I hated as a child

And I wasn't about to repeat her mistakes

And not listen

Before she ran wild

So think what you like

I don't need to correct you

What you think doesn't mean a thing

Our children aren't possessions

Let them choose their own things

If we don't give them any responsibility

Well, how will they ever learn?

You can be chilled and still know that an education

Isn't just about what you can earn!

Update

It's been a long while since I've written any poetry but I have been following an associated dream.

I'm currently studying Music Technology/Production which is teaching me to use Reason 6 to make my own beats and to also add my lyrics. I have so many song lyrics which have built up over the years and have been dying to make my own music, however the opportunity never arose before.

I'm no singer mind you, although I can rap and chat reggae DJ style in the comfort of my own home that is not my ambition. I would like to write songs for other artists to perform as stage fright doesn't even cover how I feel when I get up on stage and recite my poetry, besides, I've never actually wanted to be a performer, I much prefer to be behind the scenes and I have no desire whatsoever to be famous and all that brings with it!

I'll post a YouTube video of the first song I produce when I finish my course in April.

Greetings

Hello and welcome to my blog where you will find a collection of my poetry.

I've been writing for over twenty years and have many a handwritten notebook and A4 sheets. A notebook is never far away and even occupies a space on my bed as ideas come to me most when I'm trying to get to sleep!

I still frequently use a pen and paper despite being able to type really quickly as I find the words come to me at any time. This is one of many blogs I write to help and support people.

I am what you might call a hypersensitive. I feel the pain and suffering in the world. My body feels physical pain when others are in pain and joy when others are happy.

I tingle when I see someone overcoming their nerves to do perform and admire them greatly wishing I was so brave. That is not to say that I am not brave, I'm just not ready to be the performer I would love to be - my mum is currently the only person who's functions I perform at.

I regularly feel out of place in this world because I care too much but use my gift of writing to help inspire and uplift all those I come into contact with that want it.

I say that because not everybody wants to change their situation, many are just happy moaning about it. But, for everyone who does want help or advice there isn't much I haven't experienced. It keeps me going to think that using my experiences to help other people is the reason so many 'bad' things happen to me.

I am a Virgo, we love to make things perfect and we love to help people and fix things. Our intentions are always good. I don't follow horoscopes but there are undeniable characteristics shared between Zodiac signs once social factors like family, friends and environment have been taken out of the equation.

Although I do not follow any religion I did have a religious upbringing and have taken those values throughout my life. I use my writing to provoke thought and consideration of others, to educate, inspire and provide hope for people who need it.

Hope you enjoy it!